Date With Confidence – Many women are having difficulty playing the dating game, and some have given up hope in finding someone compatible. Why has it become so difficult to find a compatible partner? What is the problem? We can all acknowledge that our society is changing and will continue to do so. But have we thought about the effect that these changes may have in our relationships or if they have reduced the possibility of a successful relationship?
Dating is a practice most women engage in at some point in their lives yet very few are prepared for the experience, and many are unsure of what they’re looking for in a man. When it comes to dating our knowledge is limited while our expectations are great. I believe this creates unnecessary confusion and disappointment.
Date With Confidence – How Can We Better Prepare Ourselves for the Dating Experience?
Know Who You Are.
It’s in knowing yourself that you’ll know who is right for you. Dating someone without knowing yourself is like purchasing shoes without knowing your size.
Know Your Worth.
You must value yourself regardless of your past or present experience. The issues of self-esteem and self-respect are critical in relationships and affect the decisions we make. We all need and deserve to be respected, however, we can’t set standards for others that we haven’t set for ourselves. When you set and uphold your standards, you display your confidence, which serves to enhance your attractiveness.
Quiet Your Fears: Date With Confidence
Fear brings on anxiety, which results in rash decisions.
When you stand by your convictions, you’re less likely to allow yourself to be governed by that very strong force called need and desire.
Life seems to move rather quickly most of the time. However, when we’re waiting for something specific to happen, it tends to move a lot less quickly. So, it’s probably best not to dwell on any particular matter.
Know-How to Recognize Instability: Date With Confidence
Expectations are personal requirements we seek to have met in a relationship. We all have them. However, it’s unreasonable to expect they’ll be satisfied by someone who is ill equipped. Unmet expectations can alter your perception of the relationship and lead to uncertainty and mistrust.
I’ve had the pleasure of speaking with many distressed women, and the most frequently asked question is “what’s wrong with men today?”
It seems to me that one of the biggest problems today with men is; they appear to be less groomed or prepared than in the past to assume the responsibilities of husband and father. The journey from boyhood to manhood is a process that requires the instruction, support, and validation of a father as well as other adult males. Many men have entered into adulthood without the benefit of a mentor and therefore haven’t fully comprehended the significance of a role model. Due to the ever increasing divorce rate, the protection, and support of a nuclear family, which is so crucial to development didn’t exist in many cases. There are of course many factors contributing to the current condition.
What Should We Do?
My best suggestion is to use the dating period as a time of evaluation and not just infatuation. Make every effort to discuss issues that really matter, as they will inevitably present themselves in the future. Let’s put an end to unconscious dating.
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What should we look for in a mate? Ultimately, we should be looking for someone who will share our interest, enhance, elevate, and complement our lives. Any situation that does not support this goal should be avoided. The kind of man that would be an asset to any woman’s life is one with a sound mind, sincere heart, pure motives, and is persistent in his pursuit. To further assist you with your evaluation here are (5) major areas of stability to be considered.
- Financial Stability
- Emotional Stability
- Social Stability
- Psychological Stability
- Spiritual Stability
Should we adjust our standards? No. If you feel your standards are not high enough then it’s fine to raise them. However, there’s no such thing as standards that are too high no matter what anyone says. When we uphold our standards we display confidence and self-esteem, which makes us even more attractive. Remember, it’s not all about looks it’s about how we carry ourselves as well.
Date With Confidence – Relationship Particularly at the Beginning Stages
Should we take matters into our own hands and become aggressive in our pursuit. No. Attraction and desire are the primary motivators in any relationship particularly at the beginning stages. Be aware that there can be attraction and desire on his part without motivation. This situation says, I like you but I’m not willing to put forth the effort required to make it happen.
This is the most common problem today. This is the very situation, I believe, that has caused many of us to take matters into our own hands. Trust me ladies this is not the solution. It’s probably best not to assume the role of the initiator for his benefit and for yours – even if you are encouraged to do so. You need the benefit of knowing just how interested he is in you and he needs to be given the opportunity to demonstrate his appreciation and respect for you that develops during the initial stages of a relationship. There is no other way to make a determination of his level of interest other than a full demonstration on his part.
I believe we can eliminate much of the frustration that comes with dating by knowing who we are, acknowledging our worth, respecting ourselves, and by knowing what we want. Without this information dating becomes a hit or miss experience.
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